It’s been a hot summer week, one that in Canada most people are not accustomed to, it actually reached 40 Celsius. WOW! I have had the fortune of working in an air conditioned building, however I could not escape the blistering heat for long. Eventually I would return home having to brave the unbearable weather. It has been some long tough night’s sleeping in a scorching room that might as well be a sauna. (Okay so maybe I’m taking some creative liberties with this story but you understand!) The week passed quickly and Saturday morning arrived. It was a hot, 31C to be exact. It was “suppose” to be a relaxing and dull morning, filled with genius ways on how to stay cool. What was I thinking, I’m Amberlea, there is no way my life can be dull even when I try, so I apologize in advance to my eldest sister, as this is the story of how I was not abducted by aliens:
On a hot July 23 day, I had decided the best way to stay cool was to be in water. Luckily not hard task to accomplish as I live a rough 6 -8 km from Lake Ontario. A quick drive to the Lake takes all but two minutes. As my dad and I were the only one’s home we decided we’d bring our dog and cool off together. I insisted on first getting exercise so we both agreed that I would jog about 5 min into town and then my dad would pick me up and from there we would go to the Lake. Now before I go further I should explain that there are two ways to get to the Lake. The first way, The Scenic Route, which my family would take when we were young. The “scenic route” goes through the country side, forests and farm lands, where there are no washrooms, phone’s or shade for ALL 6 km, so it’s a good thing we’ve always drove. (Yah I think you know where this story is headed). The second route is on the main road, it goes through town, where there are plenty of people, pay phones, and police, arguably the safest and ideal route. So what did I do? Yes, you guessed it I went the exact opposite way, I took The Scenic Route. Once I realized the mistake I made it was already too late to turn back. So why on earth did I go the opposite way??? Well considering what I’m majoring in and that I have had over five different psych courses, I will argue Pavlov’s theory. Yes a case of classical conditioning! (Wiki it, if you don’t understand!) As a child I always took that route so it was instinctive to take that route.
6 ½ km later I made it to the Lake. My legs felt like jelly, I was hot and sweaty, smelly and gross. I flopped down and sluggishly rolled into the lake to cool off. Yes that was a literal rolling into the Lake, I didn’t really care what anyone else would think of me. I soon laid my body up against a nearby log that had been swept up onto the shore line.
Meanwhile my Pops had been looking for me for over two hours. Fearing the worst, he frantically phoned my mother at work and some people from the church. He talked with the Pastor and then proceeded to contact 911. He told dispatch that he wanted to report a missing person; they took down my info and then said that someone would be phoning back in a while. Within 6 min two police cruisers roared into our drive way. My dad still being on the phone went out to greet the police and ended the call with the police hearing the tail end of the conversation. What you may not know is that on the other end of the phone was our Pastor, who formerly had been a police officer and tactical force instructor, therefore training a fair number of police in our municipality. The two officers asked if that was Jacques on the phone, the answer yes. We all have people we look up to, our Super Hero’s, but I just can’t get the picture out of my head Pastor by day super cop by night. I think it would make a great comic book. Imagine, Pastor Jacques in his office listening to an old police scanner, sitting back in his chair, feet resting on the desk, sipping coffee, while reading the bible. Hehe!
The two officers took info and asked questions, “does she drink, do drugs, jealous boyfriend” blah blag blah, all of which my dad answered correctly, no, no, no, no.
…At the Lake, after resting my legs, I thought it best to find the nearest payphone. Being a small town there are only two payphones, the closest still 2-3 km away. I set off for the main intersection where the payphone was located. My legs tired, hair wet, and my body heating up, but knowing I was only 1 km away in my head I ran to chariots of fire, it was epic. The sun beating down, and my legs staggering, trying to trudge this exhausted body on, I saw a white chariot headed towards me, also known as the white broken down Nissan my mother drives. Half bent over stumbling along the roadway I frantically waived my hands through the air, pulling up beside I quickly fell into the seat, and sighed, “Dad never picked me up”. In response, my mother chuckled, “that’s because he’s busy filling out a missing person’s report”… after that I let out another sigh, and rested my tired body. On the 2 min drive home my mother flagged down some police officers, let them know she found me and they followed us home. I was tired but safe. I gave both my families quite a scare; the families I refer to are my biological family and my church family. I arrived home to hugs and happiness.
My body aches and has a red tinge to it, but other than that it will heal.
And that my friend is how I was not abducted by aliens.
P.S… My sister thought I should’ve told everyone I was abducted by aliens, trying this before I thought it wise to not say a word of aliens for fear that my loved one’s might think that I was indeed severely affected by the heat!
Can’t wait to see what next weekend holds!
The End
Oh'C Glorious & Free 